The ART of letting go...
“I’ll see ya’ round.” That’s my go-to line for saying goodbye, the final goodbye. In 4 years I’ve been to 6 funerals for clients of The Massage Inc. Each funeral was for me; beautiful and taxing. There’s an art to letting go. The first step is to remember; it is not about you. It’s not about your connection to the client, to the family. You are in that moment; a piece of a larger puzzle.
Last week, I got a text that another client had passed (from her daughter). I sat in silence for a few minutes. Remembering the last time I was with that client (the week before, I came to say goodbye as she rest in bed). The words “I’ll see ya’ round” reverberated in my head. Zoe was her name. She was a brilliantly beautiful woman. Brave, athletic, beautiful. One time, Zoe decided she needed to run to the bathroom, right before her massage started. But the thing was, she was actually running out the door half wrapped in a sheet as she yelled out “I’ll be right back!” Before I knew it, a staff member from the assisted living center Zoe lived in was standing there, in my massage room holding a walkie- talkie up to his mouth saying “Don’t worry; I’ll call in the crazy lady running around in the sheet right now!” “NO!” I replied. “She’s OK, she’s just Zoe.” It was because of Zoe The Massage Inc started a policy to keep a robe on hand in every massage room!
I shared that story with Zoe’s daughter after she had passed. I was asked to recount that story at her service. People like hearing funny stories after a passing. Funny can be better, even than deep/touching stories. Everyone likes a good hearted laugh. It’s healing.
Be prepared. Know that on the day of a client’s passing, or their service, you will need time and space to grieve yourself. Make room to be sad yourself. It’s important you let the energy come and go through you on those especially emotional days.
Remember, we are truly massaging the people who matter most. Hold on to that, and let go of everything else.